How do you know the difference between clinical depression and just feeling down?
I can't imagine being anything but clinical depressed, so maybe, being down means saying, "I am down," once of twice, and getting over it. While clinical depression will be like, "I'm down" infinitely.
No matter how much you will it, scream at it, humour, laugh, cry, ignore; it all doesn't work. It will be in your face, right there, watching you. It knows you so well that it doesn't need to creep up, it just comes and gives you it's big, warm hug, enveloping you with dark matter. As much as you try you can't shake it, can't crawl out. No matter what you do it's just there, sticking to you like super glue.
I am on anti depressants. I also mediate, use healing crystals, am a reiki master, crystal healer, and all those things. So I know exactly what we are supposed to do to keep the darkness away. But one has to realised, that depression comes in many forms, and many reasons. And if you truly have clinical depression, you will realise that even with all the tools, it will not go away.
So don't feel bad if you tried everything and nothing is working. Don't let all the so-call success stories get into you. Don't beat yourself up for not being able to fight off depression.
Because, the fact is, you can't. No one can. If you are truly depressed right now, nothing I say will make you feel ok. Even me telling you I feel like shit when writing this, and the reason why I'm writing this is to con my mind into thinking I'm ok enough to give advice, so I'm no better than you - that will not make you feel any better.
I would tell you to keep busy, take time off reality and stare into a crystal with so much intensity that the blood vessels in your eyes pop. I would tell you to listen to your fave head banging music and swing your head violently with the beat of the song. For us, the clinically depressed, we would have tried it, and failed.
I have learnt to live with it. It's extremely uncomfortable, extremely distracting, annoying, triggering, it's just shit. If we can't fight the way we feel, then we have to reason to ourselves to why we shouldn't do something like take a life or, hurt ourselves or others and do something we will regret when the veil unfolds.
I wouldn't tell you it's the best way to cope. It's the shittiest way to cope, to be honest. But it may make you just a little stronger, a tiny bit smarter, and a whole lot more agitated about the meaning of life.
But it's much better than not knowing why, and doing something your future and past self will regret.
It stalks me all the time. It has its tentacles around my neck, ready to squeeze whenever it wants. But because I have armed myself with knowledge, and am extremely determined to not experience this life again, I will somehow move forward. Learn the lesson, accept the karma, and move on.